adoption, ever changing emotions

Another post about adoption, this time my own.
I finally sent away for my original birth certificate. I should explain that Ontario recently opened up all adoption records (a year or two ago). Before this point, all you get receive was your non-identifying information, which gave you a brief description of birth parents, etc. I've had that for about 5 years. My mom was given something similar when I was adopted, but for some reason the one I was given had a little more info on it (nothing identifying of course).

I was very surprised when my birth certificate arrived in the mail 4 days after I sent for it. I figured it would take at least 6 months for it to come.

After 35 years, I finally had my original name. Not only that, I also had the name and birth date of my birth mother.
The emotions that surfaced surprised me. Me, who never really wanted to search for these people. Suddenly, it seemed possible, I had a name, an old address (35 years ago), and a birth date.
I thought I'd just type that name into the computer and presto, I'd have an answer. Nope, no go. Although, I did find someone with that name on classmates, the timing of graduation was correct, as was the city the school was in. Unfortunately, the last name is very common in a city known for it's German descendants. Oh yes, I totally went nutty and signed up for the gold membership anyway. Yes, I even sent some crazy message to the person. No response, of course, since the person probably thinks I'm a nut, heh heh.
There was no birth father listed. I find that interesting, because on my non-identifying info it says that they were too young, but planned on getting married. Not that I thought that would happen of course, but you would think his name would be on the record of live birth.
Too bad, because I think it would be so much easier to search for a male,simply because they don't often change their last name.
I've let the search idea slide yet again. I'm not sure why I haven't taken an active approach to this. It's already been 2 months since I first received this information.
Maybe I'm afraid of the final result a search could provide??

I didn't hesitate on finding my daughter's birth family halfway across the world. Yet, when mine lives possibly only an hour away something has me stuck.
Life is funny, isn't it!