Emotional week

For me, not the kids. First, had a great appointment with the psychologist. She gave us some valuable insight into what B may be feeling, which is what could be driving some of her behaviour. It's funny, it seems so obvious, but it takes someone else talking about it to make you clue in.

Secondly, I will come right out and say that I found my birth family (awhile ago). It took so much courage for me to contact them. I am a very private person (in real life, not so much on the blog).
She does not want any contact, none. You would think in this day and age that the need for secrecy would no longer exist. I was very, very angry for a few days.
I have a wonderful family, parents who would give me the stars if they could. I have great kids and a husband (who pushes my buttons but I love so much). I did not want another mother or sister or brother. I just wanted information. I wanted to be acknowledged.
I did not want to be shoved under a rug, have my feelings ignored again.
I can only describe this situation as feeling like you don't matter, like you don't have any control.
Once again, someone else makes a life changing decision and you have no say.

Thank god I was adopted by such a supportive, mostly open family. I have always maintained that my mom and my dad are the only parents I know and have.

I guess I have been reading so much lately on chat groups about adoptive parents not likeing the term birth parent. They prefer mom, dad, first parent, etc. Again, I will stress that every adoptee is different, but I have always felt that my birth parents are just that, birth parents. They are not my mom, or dad. I don't even feel they are my first parents (even though, I guess technically they are). They were not parents to me. She simply gave birth to me.

Avery's birth parents are very important to us, and I hope will continue to play a part in our lives. My feelings will not be the same as Avery's. She is a different person than me. I hope she will always want to have contact with her family in China! Different situation.