Zooombiessss

Halloween party (wine club)

It was my turn to host wine club and of course I picked a Halloween theme. I may have gone a little crazy, but Halloween is one of my favourite holidays!

Emotional week

For me, not the kids. First, had a great appointment with the psychologist. She gave us some valuable insight into what B may be feeling, which is what could be driving some of her behaviour. It's funny, it seems so obvious, but it takes someone else talking about it to make you clue in.

Secondly, I will come right out and say that I found my birth family (awhile ago). It took so much courage for me to contact them. I am a very private person (in real life, not so much on the blog).
She does not want any contact, none. You would think in this day and age that the need for secrecy would no longer exist. I was very, very angry for a few days.
I have a wonderful family, parents who would give me the stars if they could. I have great kids and a husband (who pushes my buttons but I love so much). I did not want another mother or sister or brother. I just wanted information. I wanted to be acknowledged.
I did not want to be shoved under a rug, have my feelings ignored again.
I can only describe this situation as feeling like you don't matter, like you don't have any control.
Once again, someone else makes a life changing decision and you have no say.

Thank god I was adopted by such a supportive, mostly open family. I have always maintained that my mom and my dad are the only parents I know and have.

I guess I have been reading so much lately on chat groups about adoptive parents not likeing the term birth parent. They prefer mom, dad, first parent, etc. Again, I will stress that every adoptee is different, but I have always felt that my birth parents are just that, birth parents. They are not my mom, or dad. I don't even feel they are my first parents (even though, I guess technically they are). They were not parents to me. She simply gave birth to me.

Avery's birth parents are very important to us, and I hope will continue to play a part in our lives. My feelings will not be the same as Avery's. She is a different person than me. I hope she will always want to have contact with her family in China! Different situation.

Seems to be getting harder to find time to blog these days.

Kids are busy with school and gymnastics. Avery has gymnastics 3 days a week for a total of 11 hours of gym time. That girl is in shape!! Soccer also starts in a few weeks, somehow we've turned into a sporting event family. Avery loves soccer so much though, so I got outvoted on the let's take a break from soccer this winter (it's indoor, obviously since it would be a little difficult to play soccer outdoors in Ontario from November to March).
Brennyn is loving the ice skating, who knew! She gets out on that ice and doesn't want to get off. Next step is lessons for her.

Speaking of Brennyn, she came home from school last week and said she was so tired. She told me she spent carpet time looking for a place to nap. "you know mom, school is hard work, it makes me tired". Umm, she only goes to school for 2.5 hours a day. Me thinks next year may be a challenge for our Brennyn!

In all seriousness, she also said the boys were very loud at carpet time, and when things get busy or loud Brennyn usually gets tired. It's an escape thing for her.
The bus also makes her tired (after having been on the school bus for a school trip, I can see why).

Updates

We have finished all Brennyn's Infant and Child Developmental testing. Now we wait for the youth worker to summerize her findings and go over the results with the psychologist (who only visits once a month).
Brennyn did very, very well on the actual testing. I am not surprised by this at all. My girl is one smart cookie, however the distractions sometimes get the best of her.
The youth worker did often have to coax Brennyn back to the testing or the seat itself, but she had so much patience. Never once did I feel that she was getting frustrated with Miss B.
Wish I could say the same about myself, heh heh. I will admit to being frustrated with my child every now and again, especially when it takes her 20 minutes to get her socks and shoes on.
Anyway, as I mentioned, she does not appear to have any developmental delays in regards to educational material. We were also asked to fill out a few behavioural questionnaires, as was her teacher. This is the part that I am most curious about. We did a sensory questionnaire, behavioural and ADHD as well. I am not sure how they go about scoring these tests, so I have no idea what the results will be.

Just hoping to have some sort of answers or plan of action. Unfortunately, there seem to be certain situations that set Brennyn off but they are often unavoidable. Brennyn still acts out in crowds of people, but I can't leave her at home when I go to pick her sister up at gymnastics (which is as big a crowd in a small space as you can get) and her Dad is at work.
I am mostly able to avoid taking her to the grocery store, since I try to go when she is at school in the morning. For some reason the grocery store has always been a trigger for Brennyn. It could be the bright lights, the noise or just the amount of items to look at.

Yes, I am that mother whose kid runs around wildly. I am also that mother who often has a very tight grip on my 5 year old's arm at times. I am the mother who gets the stares from the other people in the store, school, party, etc.
Yes, my child still occasionally will lick a window, bus seat or whatever.

You know what, she is still an amazingly strong kid who has come a long, long way in 3 years and I think she is awesome!!

6 year reunion

Last weekend was our annual travel group reunion. It always amazes me how quickly the kids change in a year!

The kids had so much fun, there was face painting, a visit to a park, food, and lots of gifts.