Thanks to some fellow adoptive parents, I was given the contact information for a professional who is known for their work on attachment and other adoption related fields.
We have an appointment set, and although it may cost us our children's future college tuition, I feel a huge relief. Still going to wait for the referral to the local youth and development (our doc. feels that in this type of situation the more information you can gather the better), which will be covered (hence the long wait for appointments).
At least the ball is rolling now, and maybe some answers will be found for our beautiful amazing daughter!