Thursday, December 8, 2011

Avery's birth family is interested in doing a video chat during Chinese New Year (when Avery's cousin will be home to translate for us).
The only problem is that we haven't totally explained the whole situation to Avery. I have told her that we are in contact with her birth cousin, and one birth sister but she really does not understand the concept.

My husband is very reluctant to do the video chat. He thinks it will be too confusing for Avery. I, on the other hand, would like to go ahead with this. I do not want to be a parent who keeps secrets from her child. This is her family, not mine. I want her to grow up knowing them, in hopes that they just become part of her life, like an extended family member. Of course, I don't know if she will want this in the future, but I hope it will just seem natural to her eventually.

It's hard to explain, I respect my husband's wishes but I do disagree. Does this mean that I'm right, I wish I knew the answer. I wish I knew what the right choice was.


  1. I agree with you. If the story is always a part of her life, it is what it is. She may not want to talk much to them, but I think them seeing her and she seeing them will have a large impact. Keep the expectations low on the first talk, I am sure you will mostly be the one talking. Let her come in and out of the conversation. Include B in on it as well, maybe if they prepare a little song in Chinese or even just an nursery rhyme they know from school it will be enough.
    Good luck. I am sure it will go just fine.


  2. Thanks Wendy. Now I just have to dig out the camera! I just know how much they want to see Avery. You can't just focus on how it all affects your family right, there is another side to all of this, another family.