Monday, September 20, 2010

One year ago

September 21st 2009, can it be a year already? The day was one big rush, rush to the airport in Beijing, rush from the airport in Xi'an to the hotel, rush to the bank to exchange money (I won't even go into why we had to exchange money 45 minutes before we met our daughter), rush to change, rush to the civil affairs office and suddenly time stood still.

There you were, a bald 2 year old, happy as can be playing with your nanny and checking the place out. Your little cheek had a huge red welt on it (we realized later that someone may have been pinching your cheeks trying to get you to swallow food you had been storing). You looked up at us and immediately resumed playing. It wasn't until I brought out the snacks that you came up to me. Of course, once I tried to put the snacks away, all heck broke loose. I didn't clue in until that night (when we tried to eat in the hotel room) that you had food issues and trying to win you over with snacks may not have been my best idea ever.
Amazingly, you went willingly with us to the waiting van and back to our hotel room. You took one look at the rickety old crib and looked back at us as if to say "I don't think so" and you have never been in a crib since!

It was the most difficult 2 weeks of my life (so far) and I'm sure you felt the same. You didn't know who we were, where you were going, or what was happening. You were terrified of all these changes and had no way to express that fear, except to scream. You wanted nothing to do with us, except for feeding time.

Baby, look at you now! You are such a cuddly, outgoing, happy little girl. You speak in sentences and have no problem letting us know what you want and don't want. I can freely admit that you have me wrapped around your little fingers and I give in too much. Oh, you can still scream and throw a mean temper tantrum but it's nothing like it used to be.
Honestly, I barely remember all the hard times but I know underneath it all you will never forget. I wish you could, and I wish you didn't have to go through all that pain but I can't take that away. I can just do my best to be the mother you need and love you with everything I have.
Happy first ever Brennyn Day!

1 comment:

  1. I am bawling my eyes out here. You are a wonderful mother Dayna. I love these words you've written from your heart to your very brave and beautiful daughter.

    She is such a special girl.