I love that my big girl ran up to me this morning and shouted "Happy Birthday Mommy". No prompting from her Daddy either, this was all her. Melts my heart.
Avery and her Dad also tried to bake me a cake yesterday, but Mommy had to ice it. Hey, it's the thought that counts!
You know you are a mom when your big birthday dinner is pizza ordered in and cake. Hmm, wonder who loves pizza around here (Avery and her Daddy). Loved it all anyway. Poor Brennyn got stuck with brown rice and peas. Pizza doesn't agree with her. Good thing she is still too young to notice.
Of course, Blair likes to remind me that I am only 4 years away from the big
4-0. Age is just a number, it's how you feel that counts.

How they grow!

Brennyn's speech is really improving. I love watching a child learn, nothing more amazing. In 6 months she has gone from a few words in English to full sentences. The sentences really started a few weeks ago. Brennyn repeats everything anyone says to her, which to some people may seem strange. That's just the way she learns. She watches everything and seems to file the information away.
She loves to say "See I did it", even if she is upset while trying to do something her self.

Brennyn also has this uncanny way of making me laugh, especially when she has done something naughty.
I caught her licking the toothpaste this evening and I said "What are you doing young lady"? She just looked at me and grinned, with the goofiest smile anyone has ever seen. Oh, yes she knew she'd been caught red handed (after I had explained that morning about how yucky it is to lick the toothpaste). As an aside, how many phrased have left your lips, as a parent, that you never imagined saying??
Anyway, I know I have to be tougher with this little monkey, but it's so difficult not to laugh or stay stern.
She'll say "sorry mommy" with the sweetest little voice.

Avery, oh my Avery. You are my little adult. Having a little sister has helped you be more like a kid. She has also brought you out of your shell a bit.
You don't forget a thing, my wise little monkey. You are a very smart little girl. Sometimes your smarts can get you into trouble too. You can be as stubborn as your mama. Nobody is going to put anything past you. You are your own person, that's for sure and I don't think you mind one bit. Your temper is still fierce, but on the outside you look like such an innocent little angel. You love to learn, and I am sure reading on your own is not far on the horizon. Your memory is amazing, I don't think I've ever met a child with a memory like yours.
I can't believe in 5 short months you will be getting on a school bus. Where has the time gone?
You are loving gymnastics, but not your mandarin lessons (we may have to take a longer break on that). You love playing outside at the park. You are not a girly-girl that is for sure!
I can almost watch your little brain trying to process things, I'm trying to be prepared for those intense questions that will be soon coming my way.

I love watching you both grow and learn. Sometimes I wish that time would slow down, even on those not so great days.

Now we wait

I just can't believe how well behaved Avery and Brennyn were yesterday at the clinic. Today is another story, but lucky for them I'm still so happy at yesterdays angelic performance I'll let them have a free pass.

It was such a long day for the girls. Brennyn had people touching her hands, measuring, weighing, taking pictures of everything (which she thought was great, the girl loves the camera now), and examining. She was so patient.
They were short staffed, so we had to wait while the doctor was called out. Avery and Blair went to play video games while Brennyn and I waited in the exam room. Yes, I totally fed my kid lunch in an exam room. What can you do, a girl has to eat. Thank goodness I thought ahead and brought lots of snacks.

At one point the doctor was returning with Blair and Avery and he said something to Avery about her big sister. Blair told the doctor that Avery was the big sister and the doctor just kept saying how tall Brennyn was. Poor Avery, her little sister is almost her height now and so it begins!

Brennyn was so great when she had her blood taken. Last time we had it done locally and it was not a good situation. I had to ask the techs. to stop. Brennyn was hysterical and they were poking around in her arm trying to find a vein. She had only been home 3 weeks at that point. I was expecting her to be the same this time, but she fooled me. Blair took her in, while Avery and I waited.
All the sudden Brennyn comes running up to me with 2 sheets of stickers, proud as can be. All she said was "ouch" when the lady put the needle in her hand (her veins in her arms are still not very good and this lady didn't even try them). Makes a big difference when you go to a children's hospital!

Didn't really get any answers yesterday. The doctor has a few things he would like to eliminate first. We won't have any results for at least 3 months, and that's even if there are any results. So another waiting game has begun. At least all the poking is done for now.

I'm a little nervous. We are finally going to meet with the geneticist at Sick Kids hospital tomorrow. I am not sure what to expect. Are we going to get some answers? Will they even know of any possible diagnosis? I just want to have some idea of what to expect in the future and I want to be able to answer Brennyn's questions when she is older. I just hope there isn't a lot of poking and prodding of my little girl. She is not a fan of having blood taken, but who is? It's just so hard watching your child scream like she is being tortured (and to her, she is).
Yes, we already know what Brennyn's most obvious medical diagnosis is, but I am just not sure if that is only part of the equation.

I am very, very, thankful that we have such an amazing research hospital only 1 hour away from our home.

Good old Ontario weather and a day at the zoo

Saturday it was snowing/sleeting/cold/freezing, today was beautiful and sunny. I wouldn't trade where I live for anything. It's true, I don't looove the winter and once in awhile I may be caught dreaming about a condo in Florida. However, I do enjoy the changing of the seasons.
Where else can one live, where one day you need winter hats and mitts and the next day, sunglasses and sunscreen??

We spent an amazing day at the zoo today (good thing we planned on going today and not yesterday, because the zoo in a snowstorm just doesn't do it for me).
The girls loved looking at all the animals, Brennyn would point them out to Daddy.
Avery loved the monkeys the best, just like her mommy. Although, I was kind of partial to the Kamodo dragon. Not so partial to the Cobra or python, glass or no glass.
Avery was also very excited to see the Canadian geese, not sure why because we have tons of them in the pond up the street (and they hiss at us like they are possessed)
As an aside, my dream is to one day travel to the Galapagos islands and see many of these animals in their natural habitat (obviously not the geese, I'm talking dragons, etc.).
It was so nice to have a fun day out with friends, and as a family.

Oh, and as I was loading pictures of our zoo trip I realized that Brennyn has her eyes shut in almost every pic. Do you think she is trying to tell me she needs some shades??

Warning, this post may contain TMI

You know, I really do love my family doctor. She has no problems referring us to specialists, looking up something in her giant medical book or researching online. However, I feel that when it comes to my daughter's nutrition and bowel issues, something more needs to be done.

When we first came home from China, Brennyn had very, very loose stool. I suspected a parasite and sure enough, giardia it was. We had that resolved quickly and for maybe 3 weeks her stool was normal.

I should add here that Brennyn also has eczema, and had skin discolouration (which is much better now, after the pediatrician told us it would never go away, but I digress). Again, I suspected that she had some sort of food allergy or sensitivity but both the pediatrician and dermatologist insisted this was not the case.
I listened to them because, frankly, I only have a BA, while they have an MD/PHD after their names.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago and we visited our doctor for the millionth time in 6 months. She suggests testing for parasites again and eliminating dairy while we wait for the test results. Brennyn has been off dairy since she came home, but I did slip up and give her butter, yogurt and cheese the odd time.
She has been absolutely dairy free for about 10 days now and her poop is exactly the same.
TMI: It isn't diarrhea, but very, very soft and lots of it. I am sure she must be having pains in her tummy, but she can't tell us.
There is no way to potty train her because she has no control over her bowels right now.

Do you want to know what I've long suspected?? Wheat allergy or even celiac disease. I've been hoping it was just the dairy but I (you know, the non-doctor) can see the no dairy diet isn't making much of a difference. Our doctor wants to wait it out for another week and then send us back to the local pediatrician (who we are not going to see again, nice enough man but just not proactive enough for us).

I'm just frustrated for my daughter. There is something going on with her system and I imagine how much her little tummy hurts sometimes.
In the past I always believed whatever the doctor said. I felt that they had the med degree and I didn't. It's the last 6 months with Brennyn that have changed my mind. Sometimes you have to go with mother's instinct I guess, and I don't want my girl to suffer anymore.

Day to myself

I'm all alone for the day, and I already miss my girls.
Blair had a 2 day work related conference in the big city (Toronto) and somehow I managed to tag along. Lucky for me that my mom was available to stay with the girls for a night and that Blair's hotel just happened to be across the street from a major shopping center (Yorkdale).
I spent a few hours at the mall yesterday checking out every store. Today I have to be out of the hotel by noon and Blair won't be done work until at least 6:00, so I jus have no choice but to shop all day! Unfortunately for me, my wallet is a tad on the empty side, so I shall be one of those annoying costumers who try stuff on and don't buy anything.

I'm really not used to being by myself, isn't that kind of pathetic?? Yesterday I kept thinking of how much fun Avery would be having. Brennyn would just have fun running the mall, it's so huge that even she would eventually run out of steam.
Oh well, I've already called Grandma 3 times in the last 24 hours, and the kids are having a great time. I think Grandma is a little tired though! Hmm, maybe I should be looking for an extra nice mother's day present for someone.

Let's see, what's new and exciting around here? I had a big post up, but decided to erase it. It was a little too personal. What can I say, lots of personal reflection going on.

Avery still isn't feeling great, ear infection, some kind of weird rash. We'll be going back to the doctor tomorrow.

I'm tired. These two little monkeys are wearing me out. I think they are tag teaming me already. On the bright side, at least they are working together on their plan to take over the house!

5 years

Had the last visit with our social worker. It felt like we were saying goodbye to a family member. I remember that first visit, over 5 years ago. I was so nervous, my house was spotless. I remember analyzing every word Blair said (okay and what I said too), thinking how this woman was going to find something that would ruin our chance to have a family.
It turned out that she was the most honest, nice, charming, easy going (to an extent), well read and well experienced woman. We spent many days over the last 5 years chatting over a cup of tea.
Yes, she gave us homework, reading lists, videos to watch but it was for our own benefit and so educational. I don't know how I would have coped in China 6 months ago if I had not done that research. It was still so difficult, but at least I knew that other people had gone through it before us. Most of all, we had an idea of how terrified our little girl really was.

Thank-you J. We are going to miss you!

Oh yes, the germs yet again

Only this time, they got to Avery. That's what I get for telling someone that very day this dreaded sentence "oh Avery, why she never seems to get sick. I think she has super immunity".
Yes, 24 hours later and my sweet girl turned into Linda Blair in poltergeist, tossing her cookies everywhere.
As usual, I handled the situation with extreme calm, screaming for my husband while trying not to gag.
I don't know what happened, usually vomit, poop, and any other lovely bodily function does not bother me. Oh, but that smell, it reduced me to a panic stricken crazy woman.
Poor Avery didn't know what to do. I don't believe she has been sick since she was 18 months old (and that was due to a screaming fit).

She did wake up the day before with a funny voice, very deep and raw. No cold or fever so I sent her to school the next morning. Thank goodness she didn't get sick until that afternoon at home.

Oh well, Avery was back to her regular self the next day, just in time to head to Grandma and Grandpa's for the Easter weekend. Where she proudly told everyone that she "barfed all over the place", with Brennyn making the appropriate noises in the background.

EDIT: Add 1 ear infection to the mix! Avery hasn't had an ear infection since she first came home from China. It's a nasty outer ear infection that doesn't look so pretty. Wow, this post is way TMI.