Sunday, January 10, 2010

It was my 35th "Dayna's day" on Dec 30th (the term my family has always used for adoption day, just interchange the name). I forgot all about it until my mom called to once again tell me all about the day I was adopted. I love that about my mom, that she still wants to discuss that day. How they got the call about an 8 month old baby who they should come and see. They had no-one to discuss their decision with, and apparently I was one funny looking baby. My muscle tone was very weak, and the person at Children's Aid thought I may have been developmentally delayed. My parents went for lunch after meeting me to make that life changing decision. Just have to my mom discovered a few years later that I had been in a foster home with people who believed in swaddling. They didn't want me to move around at night so I was tightly bound. I have a funny feeling that I was perhaps left lying around a lot, therefore not much stimulation of my leg muscles.
Of course as a young kid I didn't want to hear that story for the millionth time, although they did leave out the part of having to decide over lunch (until I was an adult). Maybe I just didn't want to be singled out in any way? Maybe I just didn't feel like I was adopted. I'll admit it, I still don't.
I have always felt that my parents are my parents. Sure I was curious about what my biological family looked like, but all I wanted was a picture. I really don't have a desire to meet them, search them out.
Ironically, I'd do anything to find out information about my daughter's bio family. I guess I'm just a bundle of contradictions.
I don't know how my daughters will feel about searching for birth family. I always try and tell adoptive parents to remember that you can't lump all adopted kids in one nice tidy ball. We have all had unique life experiences and that does affect one's outlook on life. Also, your feelings are not static. As we mature, often how we view life changes.
My brother has met his bio family. He always had that need. Was it a good experience, NO. Oh, how I wished for him that it would have been a positive meeting. Nobody would believe his story, it sounds like it's out of a novel. The good thing that did come out of his meeting is that we found out some history which has helped explain some of his behaviour. It's also enabled him to finally get some help!

I just felt the need to say what's been on my mind. This is all just my humble opinion!


  1. Very nice post!
    It is always nice to hear positive adoption stories from adult adoptees. Your mom sounds really great:) My mom still calls me the night before my birthday to tell me that "right about now I was in labor with you!". Every year!
    Sorry to hear that your brother's search for his bio family did not end well:( I hope he has found a way to make peace with that.

  2. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I am sure having you as their mom, the girls will know they can be open with you about their adoption experiences and that you will "get it" regardless of their desire to search or not.