The days became a blur

It's actually difficult for me to remember part of the trip already. I think I was so exhausted that the days began to blend together (although it did not feel like it at the time).
It was easier for me to sleep with Brennyn. She would wake up numerous times in the night screaming at this point. The walls were paper thin in the Gloria Xi'an. Thank goodness it was the other adoptive family next to us. It seemed like when one child was finally settled, the other would start crying. The only difference was that their child was only 15 months old, just a baby. Also, Brennyn's screams were so loud, it was like a wounded animal.

I would just hold her on my stomach and eventually she would fall back to sleep. However, if I tried to move her or if I tried to speak to her the screaming intensified.

I forgot to mention that we were told she had some diaper rash. I could not believe it when I changed her diaper on that first day. Her bum had oozing sores. I had never seen anything like it (now we know why, she has an infection that must be treated with antibiotics if she gets any kind of sores).

To add to our stress levels, Blair started to feel sick. Now, I do have a tendency to not believe Blair or just not really listen when he says he isn't feeling great (just think of the boy who called wolf). Anyway, I knew this was not one of those times, he really was ill. At first I thought it was the stress, but when he started heaving I knew something was up.
Blair still dragged himself to the wild goose pagoda on day 3 or 4. It was amazing sight. We lit some incense and an elderly gentleman helped me with mine. He wanted to make sure I did it correctly (according to our guide, he was smitten with Miss Brennyn).
Brennyn was great, again because we were outside. She walked holding our hands, I even think she smiled once or twice.
Blair really started to fade as the day went on.
By the next day he was very, very ill. I went on a tour alone with Brennyn, but our guide wanted to hurry back to check on Blair. She really was a great guide and I hope to keep in touch with her! She made Blair go to the hospital, which was an experience!
I'll have to save that for a post on it's own.

We interupt this program

Christmas tree is up. Lights are strung, we are ready for the big guy in the red suit!
Blair told Avery that there is a little elf who lives in our Christmas tree. This little elf reports all bad behaviour directly to Santa. You should have seen her face. That girl is too smart. I think she doesn't really believe her daddy, but she wants to be on the safe side just in case.
I also don't think Miss Avery is going to believe in Santa for very long either, she asks so many questions, and she doesn't forget a thing.
As for Brennyn, she doesn't have a clue what is going on, but she loves the tree. She is not shy like Avery and we really have to watch her. She loves to explore and touch EVERYTHING! She also doesn't seem to forget a thing. Brennyn also watches you so closely and when you turn your back she does whatever you were doing (like climb on a chair for example).

First morning

Day 1 wasn't so bad. We ordered in room service. Brennyn took one look at the crib and we realized that wasn't going to happen. She woke up screaming at one point but we got her back asleep eventually.

However, she woke up that morning, took one look at the two of us and the screaming really started.
Somehow, we all got dressed and stumbled to the buffet for breakfast. Blair and I quickly realized that Brennyn was a food hoarder. She ate all the food on her plate in 2 seconds and started screaming for more. We could not feed her fast enough.
I still do not know how she didn't choke! It was really alarming.
I've read books on it, but you cannot understand until you see it happen first hand.

Again, we managed to eat some food before we had to go back to the civil affairs office for more paperwork.
There were some nannies from Brennyn's CWI waiting for us. They had a silver bracelet for Brennyn and said that they were keeping one as well.

I won't go into detail about the civil affairs, but again the warm fuzzy feeling was not there. It was like we were just another family, adopting another child, paying our fee.

We returned to the hotel for a few hours and made the fatal mistake of taking Brennyn to Wal-Mart in a stroller. Brennyn started screaming (this girl has a great set of lungs). People were staring, but my concern was for Brennyn. We ran back to the hotel and eventually she fell asleep. Unfortunately, we had to return to the civil affairs office yet again.

We get Brennyn into the van (still screaming) and I am blinking back tears myself. Brennyn is not acting like a 2 year old at all. She has regressed, and Blair and I were worried.

This is where I begin to really like my guide. Sure, she knew nothing about adoption, but she made me feel okay! Her words of encouragement were reassuring.

My agency rep. also was a life saver. We had e-mailed her asking about Brennyn's behaviour. Yes, I had read books on toddler adoption and done my research, but it still shocks you when it is happening to you. My child was grieving!
She didn't speak, just screamed. She didn't make eye contact. When we asked the nanny about language we were told "they just don't have time to teach the kids language skills. She is only 2, so she won't speak yet".

I did discover that Brennyn loved the outdoors. As long as she was in the backpack, she was happy. That backpack was a lifesaver! Brennyn still loves to be outside, she loves the park, going for walks, anything outdoors!

An Yi Rui

The children were waiting for us in a small room. Brennyn was wandering around looking at everything. We sat on a couch and our guide said "this is An Yi Rui". To Brennyn she said "this is your mama and baba". That was it! Brennyn had a bruise on her cheek. In hindsight (again), I think they pinched her cheeks to make her swallow her food. Of course, the nanny just said she didn't know how the bruise got there. We bribed Brennyn with snacks and neat toys. Perhaps in hindsight, the food wasn't the best idea to give to a hoarder. However, she remained calm and even happy for that first day. That happy girl was gone by the next morning, not to return for a week! She was just so scared.

We were able to ask the nanny questions for about 20 minutes or so. Again, in hindsight, we have since discovered that much of what she said conflicted with what was in Brennyn's half the sky paperwork. Maybe she wasn't her main caregiver??

Finally, we were all herded back to the van and sent to the hotel. Each family also had their own van (even though we were staying at the same hotel).

I don't know what bothered me about that day. It just seemed so impersonal. It was so very different from Avery's day. I can't really describe how I feel. I was so happy to have my girl, but it was not all rainbows and lollipops!

Finally, the trip

This will be a very long post, and it's more for my records. I have to write this post for my daughter and before I forget what really happened.

We left for the airport on Thursday September 17th. I kept it together while we said goodbye to Avery, but as soon as the car pulled away the tears fell. It was hard to leave my girl for 2 weeks but I knew it was the correct decision (and in hindsight it would have been a disaster if Avery was in China with us).

The flight was long, but we managed to get a few zzzzs (I did anyway, not sure about Blair). We arrived in Beijing on Friday afternoon and managed to stay awake until 8:00ish. Good old jet-lag quickly set in and we were awake around 3:00.

We set off for the silk market Saturday afternoon and did a little shopping (okay, a lot of shopping). The excitement was building, we were leaving for Xi'an on Sunday morning.

We met the Touchings/McGrath family that evening. They were meeting their son on Monday morning in Hunan, so each family was going their separate ways at the airport the next morning.

I think I slept from 9:00 until 1:00 and was up for the rest of the day. Jet-lag does not agree with me. I also kept Blair up from 3:00am, no sense in wallowing all alone, heh heh.

Once we were on that plane to Xi'an the excitement and nervousness hit again. I was going to be a mother again to a 2 year old little girl. I could not wait to see my daughter after this long wait.

We arrived in Xi'an on Sunday September 20th. This is when things started to go a little crazy. We arrived at the Gloria hotel at 1:30, and our guide (who is a tourist guide, never had an adoptive family before) tells us to hurry and get ready. We are going to meet our girl ASAP. Oh, and you have to change your money over NOW. We were told by our travel agent (agency rep.) that we did not need to change our money to RMB (I double checked with her 3 times about this). I knew that she was incorrect but she said that the orphanage told her they wanted American money for the donation. Anyway, after running around like crazy for 2 hours, we were taken to the civil affairs office in Xi'an. We had our guide and another guide who would take care of the adoption paperwork part.

There were 3 families meeting their children and each of us had our own guide plus the paperwork guide. I found this to be very strange, but I digress.

To be continued.

Do you think she likes shoes?

I keep finding her in Avery's room, playing with shoes. What can I say, the girl likes her shoes!

When it rains, it pours

The only thing I can do is laugh, it's just my luck.

Guess who needs a root canal?? Give up, why yes it's me. What the freak? I go in for my routine visit at the friendly neighbourhood dentist. No cavities, check, gums look good, check. I thought I should mention that my front tooth has been a little sensitive lately, I'm sure it's no big deal. The hygienist's thought the same thing, but recommended having an x-ray because I did have that tooth filled years ago (chipped tooth). First thing the dentist says is "I think you need a root canal, you can probably wait until January though". Gee, thanks.

What is the cause of this root issue? Sure, you think it's just a chipped tooth, but apparently, your root can be damaged and not bother you for decades! Here is the moral of the story: don't hit the bottle when someone is drinking out of it. My friend in 5th grade hit my juice bottle, causing me to chip my tooth, and 25 years later a root canal!
Or, it could have been the time in University when I was drinking a beer on the dance floor and someone bumped my arm, again causing my tooth to chip but I digress.

Oh, and I also found out I'm having some minor day surgery next week. See, when it rains it pours.

Have to say that yesterday was not a banner parenting day! Or course, it also wasn't Avery's best behaved day either.
Let's see, it all began with Avery ramming her sister with the kiddie shopping cart, pushing her over, body slamming her (that one is Dad's fault, he let's Avery watch him play wrestling on the x-box), and more.

It came to a boil when she had a fit because I put her in time out for the 100th time and she smacked my arm. Not a good move my little angel. I do admit that I may have lost my cool and the neighbourhood may have heard a little shouting. I swear I used to have so much patience, where has it gone??

Anyway, we had to miss the moonlight magic tree lighting festival that evening. It was a difficult punishment, only because I really wanted to go. However, nothing else was working. Once I explained that Santa was there, all her friends were there and that she would not be able to have any of the hot chocolate, the crying began. It was really because Avery loves her hot chocolate, but whatever works.

That was our fun day, good times. Let's hope we make it to the Santa Claus parade this evening.

Made smoothies for the girls last week. They were such a hit as you can tell by the pictures (there was a bit of a smoothie accident so Brennyn's shirt had to go). Great way to get them to eat different kinds of fruit. Actually, fruit eating really isn't a problem around here. These girls love their fruit. Brennyn will still eat anything and everything, but she has slowed it down. She even uses a spoon.

Oh, and we finally made it to the hair salon (sounds fancier than saying First Choice). Avery had her hair chopped, it looks so cute!

Still no new pictures, bad mommy

We're all feeling better here. Pink eye gone (thank goodness), colds seem better. Now if we could only find the magic cream for Brennyn's skin we'd be golden. Her eczema is just not getting better. We've tried 3 different creams, decided to give up on the cortisol cream (apparently that is not good to use on baby's skin).
Going back to the Doctor next week, so we can finally get a referral to a dermatologist.

Avery asked me why I had big purple spots under my eyes. Couldn't have anything to do with Miss Avery waking me up at 12:00, 4:00 and 6:00ish. Who knew that the sleeping issues would be with my almost 4 year old, argh.
She wants to suddenly sleep in our bed, but I'm that mean mother who says NO. Okay, so I did cave at 4:00am and slept in her bed with her for 30 minutes.

I'm actually having a mommy day on Sunday. Going to see New Moon with a friend, cannot wait!

Pictures soon.

Just put a sign on our door, keep out

The sick germs seem to have finally found us here at our house. Oh we tried to outrun them and hide but to no avail.
I have a cold, went to bed at 7:30 last night thinking I'd watch a little tv. However, by the time Blair had put Brennyn to bed at 7:45 I was out cold.
Brennyn has the same cold, plus a nasty infection internally. She is on antibiotics again (poor girl). I will say that it seems all of Brennyn's infections/ailments seem to be orphanage living related. What can you expect when 100s of kids live in one area??

Now on to Avery. Poor Avery seems to have developed a lovely case of pink eye. Her eye was glued shut this morning! We first noticed the goo last night, but it is much worse today. Lucky for us, our doctor prescribed some pink eye drops for Brennyn when she first came home but we never needed them. We do now!

We were thinking of heading to Toronto to watch the Santa Claus Parade (and visit with our China travel mates more importantly) but that's out now. Guess the girls will have to settle for the big Orangeville parade. I mean it's almost the same as the Toronto one (NOT).

Going to put that warning sign up now.

This picture says it all

"Honestly mom, I don't know why she is crying". Okay, so Avery wasn't about to attack her sister in this picture, she usually waits until my back is turned. Guess she hasn't learned that I have eyes in the back of my head!

Decided to cut my hair off the other day while at the salon. Talk about spur of the moment. Made Blair take a picture before we headed out to the wedding (I seem to usually be the person taking the pictures so there really aren't that many of me. Would have had the girls in the photo but Brennyn was having a slight meltdown at the time.
I was goofing around so it looks like I was trying to strike a pose.
Oh, and it's also proof that I do wear a dress the odd time. It probably happens once or twice a year!

I suggested some sort of Chinese food dish for Avery's day. Did anyone listen to me?
What can you do, it was Avery's day and she lives for PIZZA. I was outvoted (see, she is just like her father).
We discussed the day we met Avery and became a family (just like my parents did with me).
That evening I asked Avery why we celebrate her day. Her profound answer "cause I really like cake".
We did make a cake for her day, it's become a bit of a tradition around here. Avery added all the candy, which was great because we used up some of her giant bag of halloween candy. Even with her dad dipping into her stash, because her mother would never dream of stealing candy from her child (heh heh heh) it's just not going away. I've never seen so much candy.

Happy Avery Day

It's your day today Avery. Hard to believe it has been 3 years since the day we met. I will never forget a single minute of that day. I was scared, excited, nervous, and happy. As soon as you were placed in my arms I cried. Yes, they (the experts) say not to cry as you may frighten the already terrified child but I was just so overwhelmed. I could not believe that I was finally a mom and that you were my daughter!
You love to hear the story of that day and how you cried and screamed for 3 hours straight. You love to hear about the man who handed you to us (Mr. Tu), and we love to talk about it. Okay, you don't love it as much as the stinky poop story (when you filled your diaper and shirt at a restaurant in China and the ladies were running out of the bathroom because of the stink and poor mommy had to try and change you while daddy laughed from the hallway).

I love your beautiful smile, inquisitive nature, how you love to dance and sing, your shyness (just like mommy), the sound of your laughter, your love of books (again just like mommy), your humour (even if it is usually related to potty jokes). I even love that you like star trek and Dr. Who just like you Daddy. I love that you would rather play cars than dolls, colour or read books instead of playing with toys.

I know you are going through some big changes right now and as you say "it's hard being a big sister". I just want you to know how much we love you and how happy we are that you are our daughter.
Somehow I became the mother to this child, it amazes me every day.

EDIT:posting this the night before, no time tomorrow. We have special food to make, cake to eat. It's a tradition in my family to let the child choose what meal they want for their special day (my parent's still like to celebrate my day, even though they adopted me 35 years ago and we don't even live in the same town anymore).

Also, the baby picture is of Avery on her first night with us in China.

Poor kid, sick of Doctors already

Saw the pediatrician today. Brennyn started screaming as soon as the secretary/nurse tried to measure her. It brought back bad memories! Last week Brennyn had to have a sore drained, it took me, the doctor and a nurse to hold her legs down. I don't think Brennyn is going to forget that experience for a long time.

The good news is that she doesn't need to see the ped. again. He feels confident that Brennyn is healthy enough to stick with our family doctor (except for the plastic surgery, but he has nothing to do with that anyway). Speaking of family doctor, I am very impressed with mine. She just called me at 8:30 pm from her clinic. I was surprised to say the least.

Anyway, Brennyn does score high for height on the North American charts. Don't know why I was surprised, she is almost as tall as Avery (of course, Avery is barely on the charts for height, but I digress).

Speaking of Avery, let's just say that I am happy we don't have to see that Dr. again because I was a tad embarrassed by my eldest daughter's behaviour today. Wow, it was like she was possessed by another child. Usually, she is shy around other people which works in our favour (people think she is really well behaved). Nope, not today, unless running around the room while the doctor is trying to speak to us is your idea of well behaved. Oh, and she also played the bongos with his chair, while he was sitting on it. There may have been a few moments of crying and screaming thrown in as well. Good times!!
Seriously, I think she was jealous that the doctor was only paying attention to Brennyn (just another hunch).

Halloween take two

Avery and Daddy were out for almost 2 hours, and it was freezing! She had the best time and has the biggest bag of candy I have ever seen. I've sampled a few treats just to make sure they were safe.

Also, because I have nothing better to do, I decided to make Halloween sandwiches for lunch. Bat, ghost and pumpkin shapes just make the egg salad taste so much better.

Avery designed her own pumpkin this year (with a little help from Dad). She even scooped out the guts herself and Daddy carved, while I entertained Miss Brennyn.

Yes, I did dress up in a star trek uniform this year. My usual creative Halloween skills seem to have taken a dive this year and 30 minutes before the kids started ringing the door bell this was all I had. It was Blair's idea (I think he wants to blackmail me, so I am beating him to the punch) since it is his star trek stuff. This only makes sense to people who know us, Blair being the rabid fan and me not so much (as in not at all).
I do love this picture though, Brennyn looks like she has some serious 'tude!

We are off to get the H1N1 shots tomorrow, or at least we are going to try. Apparently, there is a shortage right now. I think the whole town may be lining up for their shots tomorrow (it's the first day the vaccination is available here).