Happy New Year. 2011 was an interesting year, to say the least. Here's to 2012!! Happy New Year from our humble home to yours, cheers!

Tooth number two

Avery is breaking the bank this month, tooth number two has been successfully pulled out of her little mouth. Her adult tooth was growing right behind that tiny tooth and pushing it out. However, that stubborn root would not let go. Her tooth was turning black, it had to come out. Her brave (not) mommy tried to twist and pull that tooth out all day (as I was trying not to gag, who knew that my own child's wiggly tooth would freak me out). Finally, her paramedic Daddy came home and got the job done. I still maintain that I loosened it for her Dad, just saying. Anyhoo, her tooth count is now at 2, and she just told me that another one feels loose. This girl is going to have some serious cash to spend. Maybe she can lend it back to Mom, because it's looking like this girl is going to need some braces. Unless, her teeth magically go straight once all the adult ones come in??? Please tell me that is how it works, because it isn't looking good right now. Guess we'll find out when we see the dentist next month!

Avery made us a gift at school, it was a snowman ornament. She could not wait for us to open her gift!! I thought the Reindeer wrapping was the best.

Opening her Santa gift, which was barking before she even touched it. She could not believe that Santa could make her gift, so she didn't think she would really get her toy dog. That Santa is one crafty dude!

This is the train station Blair made for Brennyn.

Finally have a minute to post some pics.

Brennyn's Christmas concert.

Nothing like a cup of hot chocolate on Christmas morning!

Santa stockings, so much fun.

I am one lucky mama, so thankful for my family!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone from our house to yours!

Christmas concert time

Both girls have their Christmas concerts at school today. Brennyn's is this morning and Avery's is the repeat preformance in the afternoon. I guess most parent's don't have to see the exact same show twice, but again, most parent's don't have one child in jk (morning class) and one in Sk (afternoon class). I can't wait to see both shows, I love watching little ones sing and dance! Hopefully I will actually post some pictures on here soon.

Cookie time

The girls and I baked some fancy gingerbread people yesterday.
Don't know if I have mentioned this before, but Avery has a love for a certain Cake Boss on television (I guess I really need to cut out my reality tv watching). She looooves Buddy and his fancy, smancy cakes.

As soon as she saw me putting icing into a piping bag (okay, so it was just a zip lock bag because I don't often ice cookies or cakes) her face lit up and she took over the icing job.

Avery spent an hour icing cookies and wanted me to bake more when we ran out of cookies to ice! The girl is a natural!
Brennyn was on decoration duty, although I suspect more sprinkles found their way into her mouth than on the cookies.

Does anyone ever enter contests and think "Do people actually win these things"?
My husband is forever entering draws on his favourite sports radio station and he has won a few soccer tickets.
This time he won something great, and I ate some crow. Yes, I may have ribbed him about spending so much time on that sports website and entering all these crazy contests but no more! He won a $1000.00 gift card to Home Depot which is even better because we are finally finishing our basement (we've only been living in this house for 9 years now, figured it was about time).

Now I'm off to enter a million contests!!

Cookie time

We finally had some time to bake the girl's favourite cookies, Paintbrush cookies.
Taking pictures was a little more challenging! Suddenly, having your picture taken is "not cool mom". I'm fairly certain that my child is a teenager stuck in a 5 year old's body, just saying. At least it's still cool to bake cookies with Mom!

The pictures I find

Someone "borrowed" Mommy's camera again.

Avery's birth family is interested in doing a video chat during Chinese New Year (when Avery's cousin will be home to translate for us).
The only problem is that we haven't totally explained the whole situation to Avery. I have told her that we are in contact with her birth cousin, and one birth sister but she really does not understand the concept.

My husband is very reluctant to do the video chat. He thinks it will be too confusing for Avery. I, on the other hand, would like to go ahead with this. I do not want to be a parent who keeps secrets from her child. This is her family, not mine. I want her to grow up knowing them, in hopes that they just become part of her life, like an extended family member. Of course, I don't know if she will want this in the future, but I hope it will just seem natural to her eventually.

It's hard to explain, I respect my husband's wishes but I do disagree. Does this mean that I'm right, I wish I knew the answer. I wish I knew what the right choice was.

I know, you can almost hear the crickets chirp. My computer time is very limited these days, the laundry is a mountain, I think the beds are made, I could go on and on. Nothing like working retail in December, what can I say!

Speaking of work, the girls were so very excited to visit me at the store today. Brennyn came running up, yelling "mommy, we came to see you at work". It would have been even more special if she didn't display the exact same level of excitment when she saw her teacher at the mall 5 minutes later! One thing about Brennyn, she is always so happy to see people she knows. She makes everyone feel very special and loved.

In other news, the tooth fairy paid a visit to our house a few nights ago. I'm not so sure that Avery is buying the whole tooth fairy thing, but as long as she's getting some money under her pillow, she'll be playing along!

No time for blogging

It`s the busy season at work, so not much computer time happening. Not much running time happening either (not to mention that it`s difficult to get motivated to run outside when it`s cold, rainy and snowy).

Girls are very excited about Christmas. Letter`s have been sent to Santa, parades have been watched and the Christmas specials on the TV are about to start.

Brennyn has a few more appointments at Sick Kids this month, one for dermatology and one for physio. After that, I don`t think we return to Sick Kids until Feb.

Avery`s tooth is still hanging in there. She can almost twist it sideways. I do believe the tooth fairy will be visiting our house before Christmas.

Obviously I was outvoted

It was a 3 to 1 victory at our house. The Christmas tree and decorations were set up last week. All four of us love the Christmas Season, but since only 1 of us works retail in this household and has watched the stores sneak in Christmas merchandise earlier and earlier every year, well I guess that person tried to maintain a little restraint. I say the tree does not come out of the box before December 1st, but as you can see, I was outvoted.

In this picture I'm sure Avery was saying "see how much fun we are having, who says you shouldn't decorate 6 weeks before Christmas. Crank up those Christmas tunes Grinch, I mean Mom".

Brennyn was rocking out to the above mentioned Christmas tunes.

Not giving up

Still searching for Avery's birth sister.
Once again I will list the information I have (just in case anyone new happens upon my blog).

The girl I am looking for was born Feb. 23 2004. She was adopted by a family from Norway and she was from Gao An SWI, Jiangxi.

I do also know her orphanage name, but will not disclose this info on the internet. Anyone wanting more information can e-mail me at
blair1849@rogers.com

Sick Kids

Brennyn had another appointment at Sick Kids today. One of the volunteers gave Brennyn a pretty necklace with her name on it. It's to collect bravery beads, you get a bead for every surgery, needle, physio appt., cast removal, etc. I think Brennyn is owed a few beads (like 10) but she has a lot of time to collect some new beads! She was so very happy to get this necklace, once again, I am so impressed with this hospital!
They really do treat these children with the respect they deserve, they don't talk down to them and they explain everything that is being done. Brennyn loves her physiotherapist and so do we!

We have to go back to Sick Kids on Thursday, twice in one week. At least we only live an hour away!! This time it's to see the heart specialist, just as a precaution. One person who has Brennyn's syndrome also had some sort of heart issue, so they just want to do some testing to rule any heart problems out. It is very unlikely that Brennyn has any heart issues!

Brennyn was such a trooper, she always is. I'm sure I wouldn't like all these people coming in and asking to see my hands all the time, but she just does what they ask (most of the time, she is only 4 afterall). She even said (after the physio had to massage her scar and mold a splint to her hand) "I did not cry mommy, I just looked like this (meaning she just looked straight ahead)". You could tell that her hand was hurting her a bit too.

My baby is growing up

Avery has been telling me her 2 bottom teeth are hurting for the past week or so.
Today I checked her tooth and sure enough, it is loose. Her first tooth is about to fall out.

Brennyn was very concerned, she thought we should get Avery to the dentist!

Now that was an emotion stirring TV show

I watched Harry's Law last night, only seen the show a handful of times, but I saw the preview for last night's episode couldn't turn away.

I'm going to have to assume that someone on the writing team has a child adopted from China. I just cannot see the average North American having that much insight into what is currently taking place in China and being discussed in the adoption community.

I really do not know what the right answer is in that type of situation. I know, logically that the child belongs with her birth family, she was forcibly taken by the "family planning officials" (not going to describe the whole premise of the episode, if you are really interested I'm sure it's being discussed elsewhere on the 'net).
Yet, the child has lived with her adoptive family for 4 years and only really knows this family as her parents.
The adoptive parents are also not to blame in this fictional account. They adopted a 2 year old and the TV show explains that they believed China to be a stable, uncorrupted adoption program. Isn't this what we all believed, once upon a time??
The most heartbreaking part of this case is the child. It is not the fault of either set of parents that this situation occured. The fault lay at the hands of the family planning officials. However, you can't go back in time and undo what has been done.

I really don't feel that this story was just that, a story. I think something similar to this could easily happen. Children are being kidnapped in China, and some are being taken by overzealous government officials. I cannot imagine my life without my children, and if one of my children disappeared you can bet I would do whatever it took to get them back.

Families in China are trying to be heard, and I hope someone will really start to listen.

Nobody should be put in this position, especially not a child.

2 posts in one day (oh and this may be TMI)

Can't believe I forgot to post about our latest trip to Sick Kids. Brennyn and I drove down for her 9:50 appointment to have her cast removed (by the way, not a good time to drive to an appointment downtown Toronto, just saying). We are about 20 minutes away from the hospital, stuck in traffic, and I look back at Brennyn. I thought she had been spitting on herself, her chin was wet. Brennyn says "Mommy, it not drool, I barfed".
She was so silent, I had no idea when this had happened. I couldn't pull off the highway so I gave her a bag just in case.
10 minutes later, she was sick again and everywhere but the bag.

Sick Kids said to come in anyway, since we were almost there. Brennyn got a brand new pair of scrubs from the gift shop and her cast is now off.

Don't know what happened, she was great the next morning.
Her hand looks great, I am so impressed with this hospital. We go back again next week to start the physio.

When it rains, it pours

Or, it's almost wintertime and our furnace has been shut off. Nine year old house, and the furnace has a cracked heat exchange. Therefore, the gas guy has to (by law, and for our safety) turn off the gas to the furnace. Thankfully, it has been warmer than usual this November.

Not something we were planning on purchasing anytime soon, but that's life!
May be putting the back to school plans on hold for one more year. Not just because of the large purchase we are currently making, but I'm thinking it may work better once Brennyn is in school full days. Also, gives me time to make sure I am picking the best program for me (it's a toss up between the college Social Service Worker or going to Teacher's college).

Well, that's all that is new around these parts. Really hoping nothing else goes in our 9 year old house. They sure don't make things to last anymore!

This year we celebrated Avery's Day with her friend (and our friends) and "china sister". It's so amazing to watch these two girls grow up together, and even though they don't see each other all that often, they remain great friends!

Happy Avery Day

Five years ago today I was finally handed my beautiful sweaty little daughter. She took one look at me and started crying and cried for 3 hours straight. Once we started to peel off some layers of clothing (I was afraid to take anything off because our social worker had said "this is a scary situation for the children, do not change them/bath them, this clothing has all the smells they are used to"). Poor Avery was in 4 layers and it was 25 degrees outside (very, warm in Nanchang).

I think I was sweating just as much, first time mom with a screaming child and my husband had to leave to do all the paperwork. It was all good though, I was just so happy to finally be a mom.

Seems like this all happened yesterday, yet now she is a big sister and in school.

Avery, you are such a smart girl, always been wise beyond your years (perhaps this is why you have a difficult time relating to kids in your class). You are your own person, no dolls or disney princesses for you. You can be stubburn and you still have that temper but on the plus side, nobody is going to push you around my girl!

I love you so much Avery, and still can't believe how lucky I am to be your mom.

Still searching

Nothing to report on the search for my daughter's birth sister. Just wanted to bump this back up to the top of my blog on the off chance that someone clicks on the blog.

Here is the information once again:

Adopted from Gao An, Jiangxi. Born Feb. 23 2004. Adopted by a family from Norway.

Once again, I would love to provide her family with some pictures of the birth family including her sisters.

Also, I am still requesting any help I can get in my search. I have been very fortunate to have someone from Norway post this info on a Norwegian Forum. Thank-you again!


On another search topic, we have finally started the search for Brennyn's family in Xi'an. Using an organization that many people find controversial, but they seem to have a lot of contacts in China so I'm going for it!

Both girls are the "star of the week" at school this week (every child in the class gets to be the person of the week at least once, I'm thinking they do by last name or something since my kids are it the same week).
This year the teacher gave them a little fun sheet to fill out. One of the questions is, What do I want to be when I grow up? Brennyn's answer: Garbage Lady. The other question was, Favourite food? Brennyn's answer: Mushrooms and Tomatoes. I tried to give her some other suggestions, but she insisted on mushrooms and tomatoes.
She cracks me up!

Oh and Avery wants to be Superman when she grows up.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

BOO! Have a great Halloween everyone. We looove Halloween around these parts!

It's that time of year

The germs are back! Tis the season and all of that, boo to cold and flu. Every year we tell you to go away, really you are not welcome here. Yet, once again our house is invaded. Just in time for Halloween, once again.
Sneezing, coughing, crabiness is ready to be shared within our little house. I'm sure the bug caught a nice ride with my darling children, straight from school of course.
I'm also sure that we have helped spread this bug far and wide since I was the bad mother and sent both my kids to school yesterday and to gymnastics practise.
I do know that the kids were nice enough to share the bug with their father and I.
On the plus side, both my children were in bed, fast asleep by 7:00. However, their mother isn't too far behind.

Thinking about a career change

Okay, so technically I don't have a career but I am thinking of a change. I do have a BA in psychology, never used really but at least I did graduate once upon a time.

We also happen to have a satelite campus of a community college at our huge state of the art arena, located 5 minutes walking distance from my front door.

This college only has 5 programs, yet 2 of these programs are something I would be interested in regardless. One is Social Service worker and the other is an ECE (early childhood educator) diploma. Those both loosely tie in with my dusty old psych degree. Better job prospects with the ECE, however do I want to work in a daycare setting??? Social Service Worker would be more emotionally demanding, but it also relates more to psychology (again, loosely) which I love. I do love working with children though (at least I think I do).

Just seems like the right time to go back to school, Avery will be in grade 1 next year, so full time and Brennyn will most likely be in afternoon kindergarten (can always get someone to watch her the odd morning when Blair is working or coming off night shift).

Hmm, decisions, decisions. Oh, and I somehow also have to find some money to pay for this adventure, so I have to make sure I can find a job at the end of this journey to pay back this found money (aka loan).

Nothing to report on the search

Guess I'm a little discouraged. I knew that it would be very difficult to locate Avery's birth sister, but it's still disappointing. I'm going to attempt to e-mail the Norwegian adoption agencies one more time and see if they will assist me. I wonder what my agency would do if someone e-mailed them from another country looking for a birth relative?? I'm wondering if this has ever happened?

It's difficult when most adoptive families don't believe it's possible to find birth family in China. It's not easy, and it's still fairly rare, but it's happening more and more. There are even birth families in China searching from that end. There are adoptees starting to search for their birth parents as well. Trust me, it's happening, the walls are starting to come down slowly.

Harvest festival

Our great town has so many activities for families. Yesterday was the annual town harvest festival. All the shops downtown hand out candy to the little ones dressed in their Halloween costumes.
It's always so much fun, and I love to see the downtown streets full of families dressed in their Halloween best.

Of course, this could be because Halloween happens to be my favourite holiday, but I digress.

We saw the usual, princess after princess, transformers, cute little witches.
What did my girls dress as, you ask? Why, a flesh eating zombie (complete with blood dripping down the clothes and a half eaten hand) and a vampire. It was great. I couldn't talk Avery into wearing her pj's and housecoat, complete with panda slippers. I thought that would have made the coolest zombie, but what do I know?

After a fun morning of trick or treating/scaring little children, we spent the afternoon making paintbrush Halloween cookies. It was a complete day spent eating sugar, the best kind of day around (mom and kids, someone has to test all the treats and make sure they are safe).

Nothing new on the search side of things

Guess I'm at a crossroads, not sure what to do next. I am so happy that so many people from Norway have clicked on the link to check out my blog, however, I have no new leads. Not sure how to proceed?

I can't explain how frustrated I feel right now, knowing that Avery has another sister out there. Perhaps they really do not want to be found. Again, I have to say, as an adoptee, I know how important it is to have information about your birth family. It's not like we even have much contact with Avery's birth family anyway. I have really only received 1 direct letter from them. I haven't even had much chance to QQ lately either (been a little busy with my youngest daughter, who is doing so well after her surgery).

However, Avery has a letter from her birth family that explains why she was placed for adoption. We don't have to guess why she left where she was (okay, so in truth, we also now know that she was never left anywhere but taken directly to the orphanage). I don't know why I feel like I have a mission to find this little girl?? So, I will ask again, if anyone out there has any search ideas, please leave a message on my blog or e-mail me.

I have received a suggestion (thank-you W) about contacting media. I'm a little hesitant to use this approach since I'm not so sure the other family would appreciate the attention?? I'm going to have to think about this, interesting idea though.

Any help in the search is appreciated

These were Avery's referral pictures.

Again, I thank the person who posted my blog address on the Norwegian Forum! I se that my traffic from Norway has increased dramatically. Has anyone adopted from Gao An in the past 6 or 7 years who may have contact with other families who have adopted from Gao An Jiangxi? I'm just not sure how I should be searching (I am no detective, just a mom who really wants to find all my daughter's birth family). Here is the information once again: My daughter's birth sister was born Feb 23 2004 (however, you never know if the orphanage gave the correct birth date to the adoptive family) from Gao An Jiangxi. She was adopted by a family from Norway. My e-mail is blair1849@rogers.com. Any help is much appreciated.

Search information (still looking for my daughter's birth sister).

EDIT TO ADD: my e-mail address to make it easier if anyone has questions blair1849@rogers.com

Just saw an increase in traffic from Norway. Here is hoping that someone will recognize this information. I won't post the girl's orphanage name on here for privacy reasons but if anyone needs more they can leave a comment. I am looking for my daughter's birth sister who was born February 23 2004. She was adopted from the GAO AN SWI JIANGXI (don't have the date of adoption, but it would probably have been late 2004 or early 2005)? I know that she was adopted by a family from Norway. I understand that this family may want their privacy and not be interested, but I do have some pictures of the birth family for them. Thank-you so very much for whoever posted my blog on the Norweigan forum. I really appreciate any help I can get!

She amazes me everytime

Nothing like a last second surgery, but you take what they give you (well we do anyway, that obviously isn't the case for everyone since we were not the first family our surgeon's secretary called). Anyhow, we managed to get a babysitter for Miss Avery, pack a bag and get us to Sick Kids by 10:00 Thursday morning. Again, Brennyn went the whole day without food and did not complain once. It's like she knows that she has no choice in the matter (because at home she says she is hungry every half hour, no matter how much she has eaten). She just does what she has to do, without a complaint or crying, complete with Brennyn humour. It's just amazing. The surgery was to seperate her finger and thumb (she has syndactyly) and was 5 hours in length. The Dr. said it would be 5 hours and the man was not kidding. I stayed the night with Brennyn and Daddy went home. Once again the staff at Sick Kids were great. The nurses are so helpful and patient with children and the parents. Speaking of parents, there was 1 family that came in while I was sitting in the surgical waiting room. I counted 33 people, not including the teenage kids that left to go walk around downstairs. It was like I was watching an episode of the Sopranos. Nice to see the support this family had, but thank goodness the waiting room wasn't as busy at that time of the evening (most of the surgeries were long over) or no-one else would have been able to sit down.

This picture was taken about 2 hours after surgery, little monkey was still out cold. She did wake up for a few minutes after surgery, in the recovery, but preceeded to sleep for most of the night after that.

There she is, 13 hours after her surgery. You would never know she just had a major operation, she was cracking jokes with the nurse, blowing kisses to the doctor. Thank goodness she is comfortable at Sick Kids because we do spend a lot of time there! 2 operations down and at least 3 more to go! Crossing my fingers that this operation is a success, we won't know for sure until the cast comes off in 3 weeks.

Surgery tomorrow

Sick Kids called this afternoon. Brennyn is scheduled for hand surgery tomorrow morning. We always seem to get the last minute booking, but what can you do. You really have to be flexible and accommodating. This surgery is a little more intense than the last surgery, so I am a little more nervous for my baby. She bounced back so quickly last time, I'm crossing my fingers for her.

overdue pictures

Found these pictures in a file on my computer. Avery's trip to the dentist 6 months ago, she loves her new dentist!

Blair and Avery attended a few of the team Canada soccer matches this year. Here's hoping Canada makes it a little farther in their quest for the World Cup.

The girls and I did a lot of this in the summer. Such a beautiful summer this year, great weather for hanging at the trailer!

Not the best start to the day, our car was backed into by a giant white pick up truck this morning while we were in the bank. Nothing like having someone knock on the door while we are in a meeting with the bank person saying "so sorry to interupt, but do you own a mazda". You know it's not going to be good news. Oh well, car has been towed and we have a rental for a week. Seriously, who knew a pick up could do that much damage backing up? The hood is squished, headlight smashed and bumper half off. The truck of course, had no damage (it was like a white tank). On an unrelated topic, still no luck on the birth sister search. I think most people imagine I am crazy to even try. I've tried the Rumour Queen forum, a few China adoption forums and e-mailed the Norway adoption agencies. I have had a few very helpful folks e-mail me, some even volunteering to post on a Norwegian chat forum. Nothing from the adoption agencies. It's not looking very likely that I'll find them, but I'll keep trying.

Comments

For some strange reason it seems people are having a difficult time commenting on my blog (not that many people comment on my good old blog). Not sure why this is?? Any blog experts out there who can help?

Small update to the search

I am so excited, was on QQ this morning and Avery's cousin messaged me that he had some answers for me. He e-mailed everything I need to know. This search may be possible after all. It's still very, very challenging, but I feel that we have a chance. I have her birth date and her orphanage name. All I can hope for is that this family belongs to one of the many chat groups that exist in the China adoption world! She is also born in February like Avery, actually she is 2 years and 3 days older! EDIT: emailed the adoption agencies in Norway. I'm sure they'll think I'm some kind of nut. I think it's the best chance and I thank the people who were kind enough to send me the e-mail addresses and the names of the agencies.

Frustrating

I knew the search for Avery's birth sister would be difficult, if not impossible. I mean, we've barely come to terms ourselves with finding Avery's birth family, never mind looking for another member of the family. Yet, I can't stop myself. Not just for Avery's sake (of course I want to find her birth sister so she can have contact) but for this girl. Perhaps her parent's don't want to have a relationship with birth family, perhaps they don't even think it's possible?? Yet, here I sit looking at pictures of the family in China. Wouldn't everyone want that for their child? As I mentioned before, as an adoptee myself, I know how important pictures of your birth family can be. Just to have that chance to see what your biological relatives look like is priceless. I know, some people think it's not important, but trust me, it is. It just takes away that guessing game. That is why I am doing this. I worry about posting on the chat groups, but at the same time, I feel it's my best starting point. I just don't want to put too much out there because this is my daughter we are talking about, and again, as mentioned before, this is her story to tell one day.

Just wanted to post some pics of my girls. Got a note home from Brennyn's school recommending her for Occupational therapy. Made me feel like parent of the year. Our physio from Sick Kids never mentioned Occupational Therapy so I didn't even realize Brennyn could benefit from this. I filled out the paperwork without even calling the teacher, I was in panic mode. Now that I've had a chance to think about it, I have some questions. For instance, is the occupational therapist coming to the school? Is this going to disrupt Brennyn from class? It's great that they even offer this kind of service through the school, I just don't want Brennyn to feel any more different from the other kids, singled out.

Hi Ho Hi Ho

It's off to work I go. Going back to work for a few months (in the retail world, it's called CHRISTMAS season). My boss called and asked if I would come back part-time and she would even work around my DH's schedule and Brennyn's Sick Kids appointments. To be honest, we could use a little spare change around here, so I said yes. I really do need to figure out some sort of future career, but this will do for now. The payscale for the world of retail stinks, but I really do love working with people and kind of miss it (a tiny bit). At least I am able to work part-time right now, and not have to rush out and find full-time work, in this lovely economy.

5 year group reunion

This weekend was our Children's Bridge group 237 and 238 5 year reunion (the technical date of the anniversary is Nov 5th, but this is the day they planned for the party). We have never attended the reunion before, we had been under the impression that the get togethers were more for group 238 (we're 237). I am so happy that we were able to attend this year. I can't describe how amazing it was to see all these families 5 years later. The kids have changed so much, while the adults look exactly the same (okay, so some of us may have a few more gray hairs). We went apple picking, the kids made carmel apples (Brennyn just ate the candy in the dishes while she thought no-one was looking), bounced around in a bouncy castle. It was a great day!

It's finally happened, the words have been spoken

Yes folks, my 5 1/2 year old has finally uttered the words that every parent just loves to hear "I hate this family". Really, how should one respond to that. I'm tempted to go the sarcasm route myself but that's the way I roll. However, I kept it in check and just calmy said "those are not very nice words to say Avery", followed by "what type of family would you prefer"? To which, Avery responded "one that let's me do whatever I want" (complete with an eye roll). Good luck with that kiddo. As an aside, Avery was upset because Brennyn would not remove her doll from her bed at her bedtime because Avery happened to be in the mood to listen to Brennyn's story at bedtime. Gah, how dare Brennyn not remove her own doll from her own bed so her sister could scam her way into extra stories (Avery goes to bed after Brennyn).

A girl and her dolls

I have one daughter who loves dolls and princesses and another daughter who thinks dolls are "disgusting and yucky" (truth is, she is petrified of them). Keeps things lively around here. I love that my girls are opposites. Actually, it doesn't really matter what I think, they are who they are! Avery wants to be a zombie for Halloween. I'm all for it. What can I say, you're talking to someone who dressed as a ghost, vampire or dead beauty queen every year. Although, I am not the one who gave her the zombie idea, it was all her Dad (he bought her the plants vs zombie game for Christmas last year, and it's been zombie this and zombie that ever since).

Oh good, I'm rambling again

I've been QQing a lot with Avery's birth cousin this past month. I've also been added by one of Avery's siblings as well and have had a limited chat (the language barrier makes it difficult). I have been able to learn so much about Avery's birth family, it's surreal. It's just that sometimes I wonder if I'm stepping over the line. They would love for me to hook up the camera so we can speak face to face, and they can speak to Avery. It would only be the cousin speaking and seeing us right now since he is away at school and no where near the family. Also, the family does not have the internet in their village anyway (the sibling is also away at school, but again, we have not had much contact). I am also starting a search for Avery's bio sibling who was also adopted internationally. I have sent her family a letter asking for more information about this other sibling (they seem to somehow know the nationality of the family who adopted her). I know some people may think that I am taking a choice away from Avery by doing this search on her behalf. Maybe I am. However, I also know what it's like to grow up wondering and fantasizing about what your birth family looks like. I still wonder what my birth mother looks like. Do I want to search for her, not really. Yet, I have always wondered what she looks like. I am confident in my feelings that my parents are my family. My mother may not have given birth to me, but she is and always will be my mother. She is my only mother. Yes, someone else gave birth to me, but that does not make her my mother. I guess the word mother means so much more to me. This may sound like I'm bitter, but I'm not. I think my birth mother made the best decision in her situation and I respect her for that. I don't know what her life has been like, or if she even had more children (I assume so, since she was only 17 when I was born). I would love to let her know that I had an amazing life growing up and have a wonderful family. I know, I'm a big walking contradiction because I do feel that Avery's birth family is a part of our family. I don't know how Avery will feel about them when she is older. Maybe I would feel differently if I had an ongoing relationship with my birth family growing up, but I didn't. Maybe I did take away Avery's choices, but she has the one thing most adoptees crave, a picture of her birth family!

Happy Brennyn Day

Tomorrow is Brennyn's second adoption day (we call it Brennyn day around here). Two years since we climbed those stairs into that room and saw her little face for the very first time. She didn't care who was in that room, she was too busy looking at flyers, checking all the people out and exploring. Once I brought that food out, things changed. From that moment on, she has been glued to my side. Sure, she may not have liked me very much that first week, but she figured that I was the one feeding her so I must be okay. Brennyn had a big bruise on her cheek, we never did figure out what it was from (although we think it was from the CWI staff pinching her cheeks to make sure she wasn't keeping food in there). Yes, Brennyn had food issues, we woke up after that first night to find pieces of cucumber and noodles stuck in her gums and cheeks. She ate so fast, we couldn't go out to a restaurant because she screamed if we didn't get the food in fast enough. Not going to lie, it was the hardest 2 weeks of my life, that time in China with Brennyn and a sick husband. We spent many an hour wandering around the streets of Xi'an, just me and a 25 pound 2 year old in the carrier on my back (Brennyn hated the stroller). In the end, I think that time aided our bonding. The memories of the hard times fade quickly, because you are more than worth every second of it. I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat, even knowing how difficult it was. You are such an amazing, special child. You light up a room, and make the grouchiest person crack a smile. You have gone through so much in the first 4 years of your life, but you still have such a happy, go lucky personality (most of the time). It amazes me how much you love people. Gosh, you do know how to get into trouble though, you just can't control your curiosity! What can I say Brennyn, we are blessed to have you in our life and to be able to call you daughter! Happy second Brennyn Day!

Too much on my mind

Or, why or why am I awake at 4:30am. My kids are snug as a bug in a rug and here I am, wide awake. I think I have the opposite of insomnia, I just wake up at crazy early hours. You would think that I could get so much done, waking up so early. I'm trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up. You see, once upon a time I graduated (barely, I hate to admit) from University with a major in psychology. My guidance counselor told me to stick to the sciences (which I was actually good at) since there really wasn't much you could do with a psych degree (unless you get your masters at least). A BA just doesn't get you much. The crazy thing is, I would take psychology all over again. I can't help it, I find the subject fascinating. However, my career seems to be sadly lacking. Yes, I am very fortunate to be able to stay home with my children right now, but what am I going to do after? That is the question of the hour. I'm thinking it may be time to go to college? I just have to figure out what I want to be!

Apparently, I still have no time to blog. Between school and gymnastics, these girls keep me busy. Avery is in her first year of pre-competitive gymnastics, so she has gymnastics Monday and Friday evenings. I pick her up from the bus and we rush over to the gym. She's there for 2 hours. Parents are only allowed to stay for the first 15 minutes and the last 15 minutes (they don't want the kids distracted, I guess). Anyway, yesterday I was watching the older girls practise their floor routines. It's like watching the olympics, wow (okay, so the extent of my gymnastics is a cartwheel, which I didn't master until I was in my 20's). Those kids work hard! Not sure that Avery will be getting to that level, the cost of gymnastics will be dictating her involvement in future years (I've been told that as the kids get older, the price increases dramatically). That, and the fact that she seems to only have eyes for soccer! On the other hand, Brennyn loves gymnastics. She only goes once a week for an hour and the parents get to stay and watch (these kids are there for the fun and exercise). Gymnastics has been great for Brennyn, she has to focus on the task at hand (or you fall off the beam, etc.). Brennyn loves bouncing on the trampoline and doing somersaults. Gymnatics has really helped with her balance and her strength. Sometimes, her coach has her hands full (with Brennyn and another girl who has a very similar fun-loving, non-listening type of personality). Her coach loves her though, Brennyn ran up to her coach last week and gave her a big hug (they don't have gymnastics in the summer, so it was the first day back). These pictures have nothing to do with gymnastics, but they do show Avery's true love!

Mid-Autumn moon

Happy Mid-Autumn Moon Festival! Once again, we celebrated the festival with our local group of families with children born in China. Every year, I am amazed at how grown up some of the kids look. I keep forgetting that it has been over 6 years since we first met some of these girls (it seems like it was yesterday we were just starting the paperwork to adopt from China). That 7 year old is now 13, not such a little girl anymore. My girls are among the youngest, and I think some of the other families say the same thing about my 2, except it's "remember when she was a baby". Of course, they probably say that about their kids too! Time is a funny thing, seems to speed up the more you want her to slow down!